Matty Gets an Upgrade
An Un-Problematic Rant
Ok ok. So it’s 1 AM but I just got inspired to write and my mind is ~buzzing~ so, raise a St. Patty’s Day glass/your green eggs and ham! ..or whatever it is you do on this day. I’m definitely part Irish and should know more about this, but, I don’t drink beer, so what’s a blonde to do?!
‘Nuff of that. So I was watching a little numerology video on youtube - as we all do whilst settling down for bed, right? - and the woman’s message was just … So. Spot. ON.
The video was about how March, according to the stars - if you’re into that sorta thing.. which I am..I think it’s pretty cool.. But then again, I think I’M pretty cool sooo I might not be the best judge of coolness. I’ve also said, “cool” like seven times so... - is supposed to be a month of change. And the woman kept it really short by just focussing on this question:
“Are you willing to allow things to get better and better?”
WHAT!? I’m sorry. I’m ALL. IN.
Guys. I’m a real person. (Omg, really? No shit, Matthew.) No really. I LOVE smiling and laughing and finding the good in everything and using positive thinking to filter our experience into a most joyous one, but WOW. This past week? I’ve been in some crazy funk. And there’s no disco ball or groovy dance step with this one. (Now, come to find out, this is no surprise because, oh-I-don’t-know, Jupiter, the biggest freakin’ planet is in retrograde AND there’s a new moon this weekend.. So yeah. That means energy, if you’re into it, is shih-hih-hih-HIF-ting.) I’ve just had some of my worst habitual thought patterns come up from the grave and take over; I still haven’t finished my taxes, despite my mom’s emails, texts, and desperate calls; and life just has me stressed and all up in ma feels. My light has definitely been ‘hidden under a bushel’ (“no!” .. sing along if you know that old Sunday School fave.) And I’ve been fighting all weekend to uncover it.
But this question that she asks.. Am I willing to allow things to just get better?
I had a bit of an “aha!” moment here.. There I was, on my couch, after a somewhat somber day, unable to fully wash off the shit that I’d decided to let myself sit in (too far? Idk. I feel myself in the pulpit and I’m trying to PREACH.) .. and that question was just a no-brainer. Of course I want things to always be getting better and better! DUH.
And yet, that’s not what she’s asking.. Am I willing to ALLOW.. Ah. So, basically, I want things to get better, but instead I choose to sit in shit. Hm. That makes totallllll sense, yeah? Nope. like..not at all. Like as much sense as a world where Rachel and Ross don’t get together. So yeah..none. I’m just saying: I think it’s really as simple as that. To just say, “I’m going to allow things to get better and better and better and better and better etc” Because, as Hilary Duff once told us, “WHY NOT?!”
There’s serious power in this stuff, folks. If I could’ve just taken a second to say those words at any point this week, I could’ve prevented the forthcoming spiral downward. And by asking that question!? It changes everything. Are you with me? Read her question and sit with it for just a second. Did it bring you a bit of relief? Or that cool, semi-tingly, woa-I’m-super-inspired-and-wanna-go-conquer-the-world feeling? Guys, that’s good stuff. From there, it’s an UPWARD spiral. Suddenly, the focus is on everything that’s going well, or the things you can easily do, or think, in this moment to actually help.
I want to tie in some mind-blowing stuff I’ve been getting from Eckhart Tolle’s, The Power of Now, suuuuper quick:
Eckhart talks about how our unconscious mind (the ego) is always in the past or the future. Well, we can’t be happy with our current situation if we’re dwelling on the past. And since we can’t cope with something that hasn’t even happened yet..I guess the future only makes us feel super anxious and scared. SO...no wonder we’re kind of stressed and unhappy all the time. Thus, the “power of now.” But beyond that rather poor spark-notes summary, Eckhart asks:
“What problems do you have right now?
…(I’m waiting because you don’t have any.)”
WOW. Mind. Blown.
Dude. We’re MAKING UP OUR PROBLEMS. In this very moment, you are ok. Is there a task or situation that needs to be addressed? Sure. But it is not a "problem."
So. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want any "problems." I don’t really enjoy being stressed and in pain. So like, I’m gonna stop that.
All that to say: I’m ready for an UPGRADE. I want the iMatt3000. (Just picked a big number, and I like 3’s.) I’m feelin’ a fancier me that actually commits myself to being happy and letting things be easy. I’m done giving myself more problems to problem-solve, and I’m willing to allow things to just get better. ..because they can..and with that, they must.
Are you with me?!
[cue Beyonce: “lemme lemme upgradeja, gradejaaa”]
Are you feeling this shift in energy from all the crazy stuff in the stars? Ready for an upgrade? I'd luv to hear about it!