Matty Turns a Quarter!

A Year of Light, Joy and Balance

I'm twenty-five! Holy cow. [Mooo] Actually though, no dairy please, lookin’ to avoid the gurgles.  ..well, I'm closing out my golden year of twenty-four - and my early twenties - and moving into that “gap year.” At least, that's how I'm viewing it; I'd rather not say I'm in my "late twenties" orrr "closer to thirty" so..I feel like 25 is similar to D.C.: a pleasant, no-man’s land, just with less politics and angry orange men.

But regardless, late September really is my favorite time of year other than Christmas Day and Spring. Why?'s LIBRA season! And oh what a wonderful season i'tis. Filled with indecisiveness, loyalty and balance. Balance.. Perhaps that's what twenty-five is all about..? Perhaps it's what I should make twenty-five about..?

I’m finding myself with so many desires sparking simultaneously: theater, dance, film, music, TV, modeling, comedy, writing, cooking, meditation, choreography.. If I can think it - then I want to do it. Which makes me realize just how much balance has come to be a rather important factor in all areas of my life. Staying In vs. Going Out. Eating My Paleo Meals vs. Where's My Ice Cream? Pushing Myself as a Performer vs. Pushing Myself as a Human. So many ways to go, yeah?

And I guess the tricky thing that I've been discovering the last two-ish years is: neither decision is right or wrong. In fact, BOTH are right!'s more about when and why. Maybe I should stay in if I'm feeling tired and can tell my body needs "me time" to recharge. ...maybe I should go out if getting a drink with friends and spending some time laughing on the dance floor will feed my soul. (and it typically does)

But maybe I shouldn't go out if I've missed someone and just feel the desperation to be part of the festivities; and staying in because I'm upset with Aunt Sally for not remembering my birthday isn't going to help resolve the issue between Aunt Sally and I..and you do not wanna mess with her! {Disclaimer: I have no Aunt Sally.}

So, I guess, I'm just learning to go a step deeper and say "where is my decision coming from?" .. a place of eagerness, excitement? Or a place of jealousy, and lack? ..there can be such a fine line between all of these states..but aligning yourself with a more positive choice makes ALL the difference. Taking a look at how you feel, and putting it side by side - on that old school projector that your third grade teacher used - with what you want..suddenly I'm able to see the gap! If I feel ticked off at a friend, and all I really want is to be close with them.. instantly, I see that end goal, my real desire, and I am reminded of what's important: to be close with them! So let's cut all the crap out and close that GAP! (Ok, NOW do I get to model for The GAP? Cut me that check pleeeaaaase.)

There tends to be so much clutter. And it throws us off balance. I recently attended a meditation/discussion where one of the women there made a pretty cool comparison about our minds and bodies being a house. So, there's lot of different rooms (well, maybe not for us NYers, but go with it, k?)..and to find the balance, we have to clean out each room! ..including the bathroom; even that attic with all the cobwebs. It’s when we ignore that dark and scary room that things get out of whack; and it’s not so much the room itself, but the dirty, dusty corners hiding deep inside that room. Those gross-ass corners (Pardon my french. Can I cuss on here? Is that a thing?) are what prevent our floors from being the shiny, bowling-lane-kind-of-slick hardwood floors that they truly are. And don’t even think about buying a rug to mask the grime..! Do you follow? Our insecurities, doubts, negative, limiting thoughts are the nasty corners. Shiny, slick floors = your beautiful, vibrant, joyous self!

All that to say: (and I might as well make a tradition out of this phrase because it’s how I tend to wrap up all of my rambling, of which I am an expert.) Let’s get balanced! Let’s get back on track! Time for a fall clean-up. Why don’t we dig in there with a wet-paper-towel-wrapped yard stick and clean out those cobwebs?!? (What? That’s how my mom does it.)

SO: Here’s to twenty-five. Here’s to a clean house. Here’s to not having it all figured out. And here’s to BALANCE.


- Matty

Did I make you smile? ...c'mon, even just a little? I'd love to hear about it! That's what that cute, little, white box is for down below!! ;)